HALF WAY THERE..and why we decided to start a family

5:08 PM

Well here I am already hitting half way and the last thing I've even mentioned about being pregnant was well.. that we were pregnant. Oops.

I was going to try and be all cute and take pictures and give blog updates on the baby week by week. But honestly I haven't looked or felt pregnant at all since we announced. Sometimes I even wonder if I really am, its always so nice to hear those reassuring heart beat thuds at every appointment reminding me that YES something is really inside of me.

The only changes I have noticed from being normal, or not pregnant to now would be..
  1. I sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep. I take naps now, NEVER did that before.
  2. My stomach gets full really fast. I find myself just sort of snacking all day instead of actual meals.
  3. Ive only gained 2lbs which seems impossible considering the fact that my boobs have tripled in       size. NO JOKE! No sign of a baby bump but I am defiantly having twins up above. ;)




So this week I am home in Elko for 2 weeks visiting and watching my little sisters while my parents are in Peru. Yes, Peru. Everytime I say that people just look at me and say ".. they went without you?

So I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to share the whole story of starting our family :)

 My dad actually got a free flight last year for volunteering to be bumped on a flight, so we planned for all of us (Dad, Mom and I) to go to Peru and visit my mission. My Dad had to booked his flight by the end of the month so we booked his flight a year in advanced. We planned this all before I got engaged or married. Life kind of took off after that, Landon and I got engaged and soon married. Landon and I kind of discussed when we would want to start our family and we both agreed we would start trying a year into our marriage.
    It all started about a month into being married, we had gone to a fireside with Elder Rassband and his wife and they talked a lot about their story about starting their family. I think this is what sparked is cause soon after Landon got super baby hungry. Everyday I swear he told me "I want a baby" I would just smile and say "one day" It never stopped though, Landon kept saying it day after day so finally I ask if he thought it was an impression but he said no its just my desires. So we left it alone but he continued telling me everyday. We finally seriously talked about it and said fine we'll start trying as soon as I get back from Peru cause I knew it would not be smart (and Landon would never let me) to go to Peru with a baby inside me. This satisfied Landon for a while but then it started back up again, everyday "I just want a baby" " I just want a baby right now" then the thought crossed my mind that maybe this was an impression Landon was getting but he just would never say so because he knew how much going to Peru meant to me and he would never take that away from me. After weeks of thinking it over and going back and forth because I DID NOT want to give up Peru, I finally decided that if it was what was suppose to happen I would accept it.
     It took me a while to finally decide to talk to Landon about it because just the thought of me not going to Peru being an option made me want to cry. I finally brought it up to Landon. I told him what if this was an impression and I wasn't suppose to go to Peru but instead start our family. He got super excited but tried really hard not to let it show cause he knew it was hard for me. So then we decided we would fast and pray about it but Landon said it had to be my decision because he would never tell me I couldn't go to Peru. It had to be ultimately be my choice.
 This was the question I had going into conference April 2016. During this conference the 2nd Lima Peru temple was announced and I was so excited! After conference was over my sister called and asked what I thought about the new temple, I explained I was thrilled! She then said "Did that spark any answer to whether you should go or not" It kind of caught me off guard because no not at all, never once did the thought cross my mind that "oh could this be my answer" After she asked that I thought back to what was my first thought after hearing it and all I remember thinking is "Wow, I cant wait to go see this new temple" As I thought about that I decided that could be my answer, that I was not suppose to go now but later when the 2nd Lima temple was built. Which honestly could be like 10 years from now.  The next part of the story is something that is a little too special to share with the whole world. But basically while continuing to talk to talk about this, I literally had a "AH HA" moment as I recalled a special moment I had had the last time I was in the Lima temple on my mission just a few months before going home and some inspiring words from my mission presidents wife that she had shared just a few days earlier. When put together is all made perfect sense that this wasn't the right time for me to go. It was like the answer had already been answered at a time when it didn't mean anything to me, I had just forgotten it til that moment.
    Even though the answer was clear it was still something so hard to accept. I love Peru so much, and I love the people from Peru even more. But I know Heavenly Father has a specific plan for each of us, and at that moment it was for Landon and I to start a family. I'm already saving  my pennies for the day that Landon and I will have the chance to go and visit Peru, but i've accepted that day may be later later on in life and that's okay, because now looking back I know as soon as I have that baby in my arms it will be more then worth it and not seem like it had been a sacrifice at all.  And just to add a little more proof for us that this was exactly what we needed to do, I stopped taking birth control and just 2 weeks later our very first pregnancy test came back positive. (which inst something we tell a lot of people as we understand it can be a very sensitive topic for those who struggle)
    So now that the day has come that I have to watch my parents go off to Peru without me, because yes they still went without me cause I knew they might never get that chance again so I talked them into still going. It actually wasn't as hard as I anticipated. I was excited for them,  I even made them a check list of things to try, visit and of course bring me back. Every day they sent me pictures and emails telling me about what they were doing and eating and I was so happy for them but completely content hearing about it from home. It was actually a great experience for me as a future mom trying to fill in my mom's shoes for 2 weeks. My cute little 7 year old sister told me "This is great practice for when you are a mom huh" after I picked her up from school, right after that she said "Your gonna be such a great mom"









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